Culminating Seeds
Some life moments simultaneously culminate the past and seed the future. As a recovering type A personality, life has taught me that I can’t order these moments to appear on demand. As a woman consciously embracing the unknown, I recognize these appearances as a rare gift.
My path to growing a work life has been way off-road. I left law school to follow my heart into earth-based traditions and women’s spirituality. Conscious pregnancy, birth and mothering was just as much my training ground as years spent studying healing ways. When holistic childbirth preparation called me, I became a Doula without looking back. And then when I hit a brick wall in conscious pregnancy, I left Doulahood to remember myself as a writer.
There have been many mainstays as a holistic healing practitioner. Individual sessions emphasizing personal process, guided visualization and energy work. Sacred Dance and Maitri Breathwork. Women’s circles. My root intention to help grow consciousness. But I can see why some people have raised an eyebrow at my choices. For me, learning how to navigate the unknown consciously has not been an academic exercise but a way of life.
Has learning how to feel my way through the dark always had good outcomes? Absolutely not. But even life choices that looked like digressions has led to lessons I wouldn’t have gathered had I stayed on track.
Because it’s been a long road, I receive wholeheartedly those moments when birth initiates life. To that end, I’m excited to share that I’m writing a book on Practical Spirituality that will be published by Conari Press. I’m celebrating by creating a Practical Spirituality Group based on the book.
Within this new reality, my prayer is that you learn how to grow your intuition. Not so you can have the perfect happy ending, though I wish you well. But so you can learn how to listen to yourself. From there, gifts will greet you and guide you through your unknowing, especially trust.
What have your seeming digressions led you to learn?
May 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Staci,
This is so beautifully written. I look forward to reading about the Practical Spirituality Group, and I also look forward to reading your book when it comes out.
I am now just learning to embrace the dark (as part of the unknown) and to embrace my multiple natures. Since an understanding of oneself reflects, in large, an understanding of the world, I think I’m also learning to be more accepting of things as they are and of the world as it is, though I have a very long journey ahead of me.
I really appreciate what you say about your life-path being really “off-road”; in many ways, my life has been “off-road” too, from my mom sending me to live with her ex-husband (my stepfather) when I was a teenager so she could remarry, to running away from this same stepfather, to other various painful episodes that stay with me to this day. But, what I can truthfully say is that I’m glad these things happened, in a way, in that they have helped me become the person I am today (I’m kind of proud of that person, you know? Notice the “kind of” there
… I’m working on it). It all makes sense when I look back on those dark corridors I passed through, and I think this says something about fate, about the dark corridors we all must travel on now and then, and about the beautiful perseverance of the soul.
Of course, this is not to say that I know how to live life the way I’d like to, but I’m learning more and more about intuition, about groping through the dark, as you put it, and about looking beyond myself to what lies beyond me and everything else. The more I do this, the more at peace I am with my past, my present, and even my unknown future. To follow one’s intuition is to feed the soul, the spirit, and this is what I am determined to do now, no matter how much others may look down upon me for doing so and not following society’s lead.
Thank you for presenting the opportunity to converse about this.
Peace & joy,
Juliana
May 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Hi Juliana,
Thanks for coming back. Your blog was part of the inspiration, reading how you are creating those two fiction writing classes reminded me about how intuition helps us find threads, messages, that help us navigate life in the unknown.
I’m sorry that some of your corridors have been such a source of pain, and I cheer “the beautiful perseverance” of YOUR soul.
Practical Spirituality started whispering in my ear pretty young, 17 or so, in response to witnessing a lot of pain around me, especially in violence against women. I needed to find a way to make peace with a reality beyond my control that cultivated personal empowerment rather than victimhood. Almost 25 years later and I’m getting to write a book about what I’ve learned, what a blessing! (And btw, the PS group has it’s own page on the right: http://practicalspirit.wordpress.com/practical-spirituality-group/).
Nice connecting with you again!
Blessings,
Staci
May 18, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Staci,
It’s so lovely that you have made peace with reality, and that you are able to see beyond victimhood. I hope to be in the same place at some point in the future. I’m attempting to overcome victimhood myself. It’s so interesting what it takes to rewire the brain and to learn new ways.
Thanks for your thoughtful response here
.
Juliana
July 26, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Do you ever regret your decision to leave law school? it seems its worked out for you, I am just curious.